“The best thing that ever happened to me is being born without arms. It brought me circumstances I never thought possible.”

In the early 1960’s, over 13,000 babies around the world were born with deformities as a direct result of Thalidomide – a drug prescribed to relieve morning sickness. Alvin Law was one of them. In his case, just a couple of the tiny pills were enough to cause him to be born without arms.

Facing what they thought was a hopeless situation, Alvin’s birth family courageously gave him up for adoption. They hoped and prayed that their sickly, deformed newborn would somehow find a family more capable of caring for his needs. Luckily, their prayers were answered. Hilda Law was a fifty-five year old foster mother who, along with her husband, Jack, took in Alvin, nursed him back to health and have stood as his pillar of support ever since.

If you ever saw Alvin in person, one of your first reactions might be to feel a sense of pity. But don’t be fooled by his appearance. As an international speaker and bestselling author, Alvin not only travels the world to speak to crowds of captivated audiences, he has worked with over 7,500 organizations on five continents for corporate training purposes. Such companies include Merck & Company, ConocoPhillips, Kosmos Energy, Caribbean Association of Banks, Alberta Energy Regulators and GolfTec, just to name a handful.

In addition, he has appeared on over a hundred telethons and media features, and was the subject of two award winning television documentaries. Alvin was also featured on The Joan Rivers Show, CBS’s How’d They Do That, CBC’s What On Earth and ABC’s Frontrunners. To top it all off, he has played a direct role in raising over USD 225 million dollars for charity to date.

Alvin shares his life with his wife and business partner, Darlene, and Murphy, a rescue dog, in beautiful Calgary, Alberta, Canada. We caught up with him to hear more about his inspiring story, admire his positive attitude and find out how he has overcome major obstacles in his life with complete optimism.

EARLY LIFE

Tell us more about what it is like growing up with your foster parents – how did they contribute to your life and shape your perspectives?

I believe that my experience of being abandoned at five days of age by my birth parents and then a few weeks later, being placed in a foster home illustrates the power of “Nature vs Nurture”! I have no ill will towards my birth family at all. In fact, I’ve always been amazed that anyone would even want a baby like me. I’m not overly “religious” but am highly “spiritual”, convinced that this was the essence of fate.

My foster parents, “Mom & Dad”, were somewhat religious – so having a foster home was akin to doing mission work. But our home life wasn’t about bible reading or constant religious discussion. My mom’s biological children aka my brothers, John and Terry, had already left home to start their own families and lives by the time I was adopted. Mom & Dad were in their fifties when they adopted me so they had the experience and wisdom to deal with an armless child like me.

This was 1960 and deformed people like me were seen by many as freaks and outcasts, not human beings. I grew up in a community of around 10,000 people. It was a rural area where farming was the main economy.

Contrary to what people might think, I didn’t spend my childhood hidden in our home at all. In fact, I went everywhere and soon became “The Law Boy”! Furthermore, I was not only accepted, but embraced by people in the community. But I did not live an entitled life where people helped me with everything – a lot of self-reliance was emphasised during my childhood.

Describe to us the daily challenges you encountered while growing up and how you overcame them.

I had a spectacular childhood. I knew most of the other kids in my neighbourhood because we grew up together. I wasn’t excluded at all until adolescence but that wasn’t about having no arms. It was about different interests then but my early youth was also about the era for another reason. We were “free range children”! We didn’t have our parents hovering over us, not even mine.

The biggest challenges of my early years came with some irony. I was seen as a ‘medical curiosity’, so I went to countless clinics so doctors and rehabilitation experts could examine me. What really sticks out for me was the language they used. It was like I was a mistake and they needed to fix me!

Another bigger issue was my education. In 1966, handicapped children were relegated to special schools, not like the social integration we see today. My parents knew that I needed a real education as they believed that my intelligence would make up for my lack of arms. After many hurdles, I was allowed to go through a regular education. I even graduated from high school with honours!

How would you sum up your childhood?

My childhood is easy to sum up…the best!

JOURNEY

Could you share with us the moments/encounters when you first discovered your musical talents? And how did your music career flourished from there?

I lived in a home where we practiced Christianity and went to church every Sunday, that was where I started to love singing. I was also put in tap dancing classes where I learned to dance.

Although we didn’t have a piano at home, my mom took me to see a lady who gave piano lessons and while she admired my “courage”, she simply believed my toes were too short to play piano properly – it made me lose interest. But this was not the end of my music journey.

The next year, I was invited to join the school band! At first the new band director was hesitant and was unsure that I could handle the trombone, let alone play with an entire band. But eventually they came up with a solution – they mounted the trombone on the side of a wooden chair with metal rods and clamps. I used the slide with my right foot. It worked. So in 1978, I was chosen to play First Chair Trombone in Canada’s National All Star High School Jazz Band!

As a teenager, I got to go to Summer Band Camp for Jazz and that’s when I learned to play a drum set (Which I still do). After going to college, I taught myself to play the piano too! But the real highlight of it all, was the people I played music with. I have an expression I created for this: “Musicians don’t care what you look like. All they care about is, can you play? The answer…Yes I Can”!

Why did you choose to become a professional speaker?

I had no plans to become a professional speaker. But in 1976, I was asked to be an “Ambassador” for handicapped children in my home province of Saskatchewan, Canada. I started out speaking at several charity events and then at telethons to talk about how it was like to live without arms.

Back then I couldn’t see much of a financially stable future doing talks on stage. Thus I went to college to study Broadcasting. Upon graduating in 1980, I got a job as a disc jockey at an FM radio station in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. Soon I became very popular and well known.

It was an opportune time, because the United Nations (UN) declared in 1981, The International Year of Disabled Persons. Being invited to be a guest speaker at such UN events saw my popularity rise overnight!

It didn’t take me long to realize that not only could I get paid to be a speaker, but it was really my true destiny. All the learning I did to be a broadcaster gave me the right skillset to be a speaker. And if I may humbly mention, I do have a remarkable story to tell about myself! I am proud to say that I still speak on stage today, just as I did forty years back!

What were some important lessons or things you have learnt along the way?

I am a “student of life” and an observer of people, or another way to put it – I’ve been privileged to be enlightened this way.

I didn’t realize it but I had been living a cliche. I have been “living outside the box” my whole life and constantly asked my audiences to do the same. I’d accepted my role as an advocate for people with special needs, so I had to embrace the whole notion of diversity and inclusion – action speaks louder than words.

I’ve seen the world move from so many taboos – mixed race relationships, gay marriage, LGBTQ+ and racial segregation…we’ve come so far. It’s true that “character” can’t be purchased, self esteem doesn’t start by looking in a mirror and resilience can’t exist in a bump free life. More importantly, I’ve learned that love is blind and we only get one life – so we need to make the best of it.

ACHIEVEMENTS

Which achievements are you most proud of and why?

In music

I vividly recall my first “achievement” – I got to tap dance with my troupe on local television in 1970. Then, I won my first solo competition on trombone at a local music festival and in 1978, I was chosen Lead Chair Trombone for Canada’s All Star High School Jazz band.

In 1977, I and two other Canadians represented our country at an International Red Cross Youth Camp in Norway.

I won a few other music awards too such as – ‘Saskatchewan Junior Citizen of the Year’ in 1978, ‘Canadian Junior Citizen of the Year’ in 1982 and I was named the first ever ‘Mount Royal College Most Distinguished Alumni’ in 1983.

In 2016, I got to play drums for an awesome promotional video for the Rio Paralympics, “The Real Superhumans”! The highlight? We recorded the soundtrack at the famous Abbey Road Studios in London.

In speaking

In 2009, I received my Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation, an honour where less than 10% of all professional speakers in the entire world are able to attain.

In 2013, I was inducted into the Canadian Professional Speakers Hall of Fame. In 2018, I was also inducted into the Canadian Disability Hall as well.

In acting

In 1996, I played a character on the hit television series, “X-Files”.

In relationship

To top it all off, one of my biggest achievements was meeting my wife and business partner, Darlene in 1991. I convinced her to marry me two years later…that’s a huge achievement!

How do you usually connect with your audience as a speaker?

It’s difficult to pick one thing that I do to connect with my audience. But I could share my experience connecting with kids as a speaker.

Back in 1981, after I quit my radio job to become a speaker, I was going to schools to give talks where 90% of the time, my audience were children. And if you know kids well enough, they are very observant and curious – they can spot a phoney person from a mile away.

During that time, I used a technique to coincide with the topic I was speaking about, on ‘Disability awareness’. Walking onto a stage or gymnasium floor with 500 kids’ eyes on you can be intimidating. But remember that I was also a musician.

So I would walk out and ask the students and teachers to close their eyes and not look at me for 30 seconds while I played a single snare drum. After 20 seconds or so, I’d tell them they could open their eyes to watch while I played a bit more. Then I helped them to realise that when they closed their eyes, they most probably didn’t think of a disabled person producing those sounds on the drums. In essence, the perception of a handicap person in front of them is simply a visual illusion! It’s always about the attitude and mindset rather than the physical circumstances of someone. It worked, they understood what I meant immediately.

While my unusual body form naturally attracts people’s attention, my wife Darlene also believes that my greatest strength is my voice. I am a trained broadcaster and have a very resonant voice that commands attention without being aggressive. Over the years, I’ve learned stagecraft, pacing and inducing humour in my content. Sharing funny stories does two things – 1) It engages my audience and 2) It makes me ‘human’ enough to connect with them.

What do you think are the key ingredients to your success?

The key to my success is mostly a mystery to me. The answer is more boring than anyone would expect but very profound as well.

It all comes down to having a support system (In this case my wife), turning my passion for speaking into a business, spending a great deal of time and money on professional development and getting access to as many international speaking gigs as possible.

Philosophically, I’ve lived my words, tried to remain humble but most importantly, I remained authentic by focusing on just being a good person.

PERSONAL (LIFE)

What do you do when you find yourself feeling down on certain days?

I owe my parents a great deal but I believe the most significant lesson I learnt was to possess gratitude.

My folks lived through “The Depression” in the 1930’s and my Dad fought in World War Two. We were a decent middle-class family so I wasn’t spoiled with stuff. And honestly, having no arms means you learn to appreciate what you have. I have experienced depression and struggled with my mental health like everyone.

On a very personal note, I had an unplanned child. Me and a girl were barely dating but somehow I got her pregnant unintentionally. We got married and stayed together but it was a disastrous one where she struggled with mental health issues and her friends were negative and mean-spirited toward me. So in 1988, we split. I actually raised my son, born in 1985, mostly on my own.

But the key to my rejuvenation was reconnecting with my old friends, avoiding my ex-wife or her friends and making a commitment to only spend time with people who made me better, not worse. That still works today especially whenever I am feeling down.

Share with us some memorable letters/gifts you receive from fans.

It’s so difficult to choose an encounter that’s memorable as I’ve had so many. I attribute that to my involvement in telethons for television. Using my talents but also my commitment to giving back has seen me on countless shows since 1977. I’ve met major celebrities like Ray Charles and David Foster.

But here is one of my favourites. I was speaking in Singapore for over 2,500 CEO’s of Young Professionals Organization (YPO) a few years ago and the co-founder of Apple, Steve Wozniak happened to be one of the speakers as well. We met backstage and while it wasn’t like I was meeting my hero and I don’t describe myself as a computer geek, he remains a pretty significant figure.

I got my picture with him, of course and he even signed the back of my iPad. But then, we had a coffee together because he was so intrigued with how I used my feet to work my iPad. He even took pictures and video of me doing it so he could send it back to his people in the U.S. who were as he described them, “computer nerds” who would just love to see how I use technology. That was cool.

How do strangers usually react when they see you in public and what is your response?

My whole life I’ve been stared at by strangers. That is another lesson learned from my parents – accept it, acknowledge it and move on! It’s not that easy. I tell a story about being a precocious adolescent who struggled with my own self esteem.

One day, my Dad and I were having a hamburger lunch at a local fast food place and it happened again. Some rude stranger stared at me trying to eat a hamburger with my right foot. I should have shown a more restrained behaviour but I admit that I threw a wee tantrum and made my Dad take me home right away.

I ran downstairs to our basement, slammed the door and raged! Dad let me cool down then he came downstairs to have a serious discussion. He reminded me that this was just human nature – people do not mean to be rude, they just can’t help themselves.

So Dad basically said I had two options: 1) Stay home for the rest of my life and never leave. That way, nobody could stare. I could live in the basement and Mom could throw toast down the stairs so I didn’t starve. Or 2) Accept my circumstances and face the world bravely.

I replied by saying…”The first option is stupid”! He responded…”Yes it is stupid and people can be stupid. But Alvin, people will always look at you. It’s not fair but that’s the way it is. Maybe you could help them by acknowledging their curiosity and not being rude back. You can only choose what you do, not what they do.”

So, that short conversation changed everything and I started actually waving at people with my foot! It took away the tension immediately.

Why do you do what you do? (What drives you everyday)

That’s a good question and my answer may seem predictable. But let me just directly quote my Mom here: “Honey, someday the reason you were born without arms will make sense but you do not have a curse, you have a blessing”!

Most speakers have a very personal reason for what drives them individually. However we all have one thing in common – We want to make the world a better place.

There’s no denying ego is involved but I say again, my real dream was to be a “Rock Star”, entertaining huge crowds with my music and to bring some joy and celebration into people’s lives, even if it’s just for a while. I guess I got my wish!

Who are the role models and influences in your life?

I can directly credit three people with my early inspirations for my life – my Mom and Dad and my band director, Blaine McClary.

My parents are obvious but if I may add something very deep for me. I was able to meet and get to know my birth family in 1993. I was able to see what my life might have been. I would have grown up on a very poor farm with no power, running water, or access to activities in town. I would have likely been resented by my siblings for being useless on the farm. Blaine McClary put a trombone on a wooden chair with metal rods and clamps that held it, like hands, so I could play in a band. Who does that? What kind of person thinks; “No arms…Trombone”! It altered my entire life path.

Because of my public life later on, I was fortunate to meet many people I consider to be my role models and mentors as well. For example, in the telethons I participated in, there were many prominent speakers who challenged me to up my game rather than patronize me because I had no arms.

Most importantly, in the last 30 years, my wife and business partner, Darlene, has literally changed me. The connection with her beliefs about living life with a purpose has brought us together in so many ways. It has allowed me to grow farther than I ever could have predicted. I am humbled every single day!

To you, what are the most important things in life?

For me it’s all about:

1) Gratitude; because we need to be thankful for what we have, not what we don’t.

2) Purpose; because everyone needs a reason to get out of bed every day.

3) Relationships; whether it’s a romantic partner, family friends, co-workers, or even pets, all of which can give us a unity of being. Be a “giver” not a “taker”; because that is the essence of balance.

4) Simplicity; the internet was supposed to make life easier and no question, it’s given our culture so much but it has led to device addiction, mental health issues for people who can’t “live without their phone”, the effects of cyberbullying and I won’t even mention Donald Trump and Twitter! We claim to “have no time” because we create a busy life that’s the opposite of ‘simple’.

5) Love; The world has enough hate. We need more love!

VIEWPOINTS

You mentioned in your bio that “how you look at life and make choices is a skill”. Could you elaborate on this?

Ultimately our perspectives of life is a learned behaviour that leads us to make decisions.

Consider this formula created by Jack Canfield in his best selling book, “Success Principles” – E +/- R = O To expand; “Event”, positive or negative “Response” equals “Outcome”!

If you learn this formula, practice it like a skill every day and it becomes a great habit that will make us experts at dealing with our circumstances, whatever they may be. This notion can seem naive but it really works and I have been practicing Canfield’s formula my whole life without even knowing it. I never read the book until later on!

What would be your advice to someone who is currently facing a crisis in his or her life?

In my bestselling book, “Alvin’s Laws of Life”, I have five laws – Attitude, Learn, Value, Imagination and Never Give Up. The “V” is this; “Value your life and spirit. Too many people live another ‘V’ in their lives and that is: ‘Victim’. It’s true. Bad things happen to good people and unfortunately there are sometimes victims. The trouble is, as a victim, there’s no answer to the question – “Why me?”

Even worse, victims often get stuck in their past, when what they need to do is live for today and look forward to the future. When you focus on moving forward, you never know what you’ll discover. Everyone has value. Finding it, that’s the trick”!

In what ways do you hope the world can change to accomodate to more people with some form of disability?

If the Covid-19 pandemic has taught us anything, it is that human beings are vulnerable. We are not statues that can withstand centuries of conflict. The price of being human is that we experience pain, loss, failure, rejection and so on. Clearly, our choices dictate our circumstances. If you choose a life of crime, be prepared to spend the rest of it in prison. But if you have proper moral code, ethics and values, you can live freely.

We are all up against something at some point in our lives, not just handicapped people. But with faith, belief, resilience and courage, I believe we can get through it all. Our reaction to our circumstances is a choice.

In 1977, I was very fortunate to be chosen to attend an International Red Cross Retreat at a camp in Norway. The King of Norway built it after his nephew became paralyzed in a skiing accident. It was the first completely “accessible” outdoor camp in the world. The experience was simply amazing and so welcoming even for people with disabilities. The next year, I went to Mount Royal College to study Broadcasting and it was also completely accessible for the handicapped.

We have come a long way to accommodate people with special needs. But we should continue to make every design of every new building as accessible as possible. This way, we all can truly feel equal in society.

To be really honest though, most people do not know what “accommodation, inclusion, diversity and equality’ means in practical terms. I often joke that the lack of consideration for handicap people is an evil conspiracy by human resource departments around the world to justify their existence. The point is, when we can learn these ideals aren’t about “special treatment” but to provide equality to everyone.

The post Best Thing That Happened: Bad Circumstances – Alvin Law appeared first on My Story Lounge.

” Without resilience, anything gained is easily taken away. You can’t really be successful in the long-term without some degree of resilience.”

Imagine a scenario where you were trapped beneath a one-ton boulder while climbing a mountain and lose both legs as a result. Would you go back to climb mountains again? The answer for most people would likely be an outright “No”.

That was exactly what happened to Warren Macdonald on one fateful day back in April 1997 in a freak rock fall. And yet, unlike most people, Macdonald went right back to climbing just ten months after that accident that saw the amputation of both his legs at mid-thigh, using a modified wheelchair and the seat of his pants! Warren, an Australian native, has one of the most inspirational survival stories to share about the accident on North Queensland’s (Australia) Hinchinbrook Island and his amazing feats that came after.

Among his other achievements include becoming the first double above-knee amputee to reach the summit of Africa’s tallest peak, Mt Kilimanjaro (19,222ft) in 2003. Later that same year, in a spectacular effort requiring more than 2,800 pull-ups over 4 days, he climbed America’s tallest cliff face, El Capitan. Warren is also the only above knee amputee to make an ascent of Canada’s landmark frozen waterfall, the 600 ft “Weeping Wall” in Alberta.

Warren’s bestselling first book, ‘A Test of Will’, is the subject of the “Trapped under a Boulder” episode of the Discovery Channel series “I Shouldn’t Be Alive”. He has also appeared on Larry King Live, The Oprah Winfrey Show, and The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos.

His remarkable story makes a compelling argument that challenges in life are meant to be overcomed. Warren spoke to us about where this resilience comes from and what drives him forward.

EARLY LIFE

Tell us more about your family background and share with us what it was like growing up.

I grew up in the suburbs of Melbourne, Australia, the oldest of 4 children. We were left to roam freely as kids, which helped all of us develop a great sense of adventure. Growing up, the stuntman Evel Knevel was my hero, and I spent most of my childhood jumping over things (including my siblings) on my bicycle.

How did your upbringing shape the person you are today?

We grew up resilient. We had to make-do with what we had, which also made us adaptable and resourceful; both traits that hold a person in good stead in times of hardship and crisis.

PASSION

Where did your passion for mountain climbing come from?

Our family did a lot of camping when we were younger, so an appreciation for the outdoors was there from a young age. At age 19, I undertook an Outward Bound style course, which was really aimed at taking a person outside of their comfort zone, and (hopefully), showing them that they are stronger than they think.

That week shaped the rest of my life, in that I discovered that I could be outside, with very little in the way of resources, and still be okay. No running water, no electricity; no roof over my head. That feeling evolved into wanting to push myself further, which led naturally to mountains and other wild places.

How did you survive being trapped beneath that one-ton boulder at North Queensland’s (Australia) in April 1997 and what went through your mind during and right after being rescued?

Whilst trapped, I had to draw on everything I’d experienced from life thus far. I’d spent years seeking discomfort, straying further and further from the well worn path. I’d travelled to Africa to test myself in a less domesticated environment, and all of those experiences bolstered me during the time I was trapped.

Once I was rescued, my task was to hang in there, to survive, and then to recover as best I could. As I gained small parts of my life back, I wanted more.

What were the major challenges you faced and hard decisions you had to make, after that accident and how did you overcome them?

As with anyone, most of the challenges were psychological. Sure, I had major physical challenges, but I also had to overcome how people looked at me now; how I looked at myself. At resetting limitations, ignoring limitations set by others, etc.

I also had to approach things one step at a time. It’s easy to become overwhelmed when the challenges are so huge and daunting. I learnt to break things down into manageable bite sized pieces, or steps, and tackle them bit by bit…

Ten months after that accident, you climbed Tasmania’s Cradle Mountain using a modified wheelchair. Not to mention, you embarked on subsequent mountain climbing expeditions. What’s the driving force behind that decision to continue pursuing this path and were you not traumatized by fear?

I wasnt so much traumatized by fear, but driven by a desire to reclaim my life, the life I’d once taken for granted. It was incredibly important to spend time outside, in nature, and whilst in the very beginning I thought that was something I’d lost, it was incredibly important for me to get it back.

ACHIEVEMENTS

Which achievements are you most proud of and why?

One of the achievements I’m still most proud of happened before my accident, and that is standing up to defend the logging of old growth forests in Tasmania. Another, which is connected to the first, was climbing Federation Peak over the course of 28 days.

One of the main reasons I did that was to show that we need to keep our wild places wild, and that we don’t need excessive roads to access these places. We can visit them on our own terms, and if a guy with no legs can do that, so can you.

Share with us some experiences that you think played a significant role in your success?

Having the support of friends and family in what at times seemed like crazy endeavours. They were always there for me and helped immensely. A desire to keep going, to keep moving forward, despite hardship and pain. A desire to open the way for others with disabilities. There are now at least 7 or 8 double above knee amputees who have climbed Mt Kilimanjaro, including the first woman Many Hovarth back in May this year.

What do you think are the key ingredients to your success?

Authenticity. Adaptability. Resilience.

What lies ahead in terms of your goals and ambitions?

I have a kayak trip that is still on my list in south west Tasmania.

PERSONAL (LIFE)

How does a typical day look like to you now?

This morning I swam across the lake with friends. It is a 2km swim and we do it 4 times a week.

Mornings are usually spent trading and investing, and working on upcoming presentations.

Afternoons I will typically hand cycle or do some other form of activity.
I like to cook also so prep usually starts some time in the afternoon.

What is your life motto if any?

Never give up.

To you, what are the most important things in life?

Health and happiness. Without those, you don’t have much else.

What do you do when you find yourself feeling down on certain days?

Exercise is a great way to raise your spirits, as is mediation. Those two things were my greatest allies during covid. I describe meditation as a great way to tame your thoughts and to stop fear taking hold. It’s also a great way to get in sync with reality, and out of denial.

Who are the role models and influences in your life?

My dad has been a great influence in that he gave us that connection to the outdoors by taking us outside so often when we were kids. And my Mum for being there for me in everything I’ve done.

The former leader of the Australian Green party, Bob Brown has been a great role model for me, as has Elon Musk for his grand vision for the human race.

What are some things that many people don’t know about you?

I’m a huge heavy metal fan.

Why do you do what you do? (What drives you everyday)

We get one life. We best make the most of it.

VIEWPOINTS

Has your perspective about life and living changed before vs after after losing your legs? If yes, how so?

Before the accident I was certainly less driven. THe accident taught me that life is short, and that if we want something, we best start making it happen.

In your opinion, why is resilience so important and how does it shape a person’s success?

Without resilience, anything gained is easily taken away. You can’t really be successful, at least in the long term, without some degree of resilience.

How can people build up their resilience in simple ways?

Resilience is like a muscle. If you don’t work on building it, it atrophies and dies away.
It is not something that can be learnt, but rather needs to be practiced. You build it by doing anything that challenges you, either physically or mentally, ideally both.

When you lift weights, you’re telling your body you can do hard things. When you cycle up a steep hill and don’t stop, you’re telling your body, not to mention your mind and spirit, that you can do hard things, that you can endure and not quit.

This concept transfers over into other areas of your life. The way I describe resilience is akin to a bank account. You make deposits, preferably daily, so that when the time comes to make a withdrawal, you have an adequate amount in your account.

Like a bank account, when the time comes for that withdrawal, you only have what you have.

No less, no more.

The post Let No Rock Stand In The Way – Warren Macdonald appeared first on My Story Lounge.

“Remember that every successful person you’ve heard about, read about, or know has been told before that they are not good enough or their work is subpar in some way.”

If you are someone who wants to lead and motivate a team of people within an organisation effectively, Jamie Mason Cohen is the go-to guy to look for. As a leadership development and resilience expert, Cohen uses a tool kit of unconventional virtual approaches to cultivate resilience through unique performance assessment, the science of positive psychology, and proven leadership strategies through an engaging and entertaining cinematic format.

Some of his interesting methodology for training corporate employees include ‘Saturday Night Leaders’ Framework, ‘Living Your Values’ 7-Step Process and Action Plan, the ultimate team alignment and appreciation session in ‘What Your Signature Says About You’, as well as his ‘Virtual Storytelling’ online training.

He is also a frequent media commentator on CNN, Forbes and The Morning Show. His TEDx talk on leadership has been viewed 2.2 million times. Furthermore, he is a ‘Dale Carnegie Business Training Award’ recipient and a certified leadership coach with ‘The Leadership Circle’.

As unrelatable, mundane and dry as his accomplishments may sound to someone not interested in such organisational matters, we surprisingly found an insightful life journey filled with anecdotes, life lessons and personal experiences.

EARLY LIFE 

Tell us more about your family background and share with us on what it was like growing up. 

I grew up in Toronto, Canada. My father was a lawyer, and my mother was an educator and regional manager of a large school board. I have a young sister, who became an educator, entrepreneur, and dance choreographer. The place I lived in was a safe, middle-class community where we attended public schools during the year and actively played competitive sports like baseball, hockey, and basketball.

I had parents who instilled in us the values of being kind to others, family first and an openness to creative goals. My grandparents were also an important part of my life growing up.  My grandmother, Gertrude, would come to our house regularly armed with her delicious soups and matzah balls.  The smell of her banana muffins would fill the house the moment she entered.

My grandparents were from Poland and Canada.  My grandmother, Gertrude, played an extraordinary influence on my life. She was always supportive and warm.  I used to confide in her about my fears and doubts, and she’d always have the right thing to say or just be there for me like a best friend.  

We had dogs as pets – a Shih-Tzu named Suki and then a bulldog named Wendel.  We also had a pet budgie bird named Fred.  Growing up with pets added an energy and playfulness to our days.  

In the summers, I often spent my time at the baseball park.  Toronto had a vibrant summer sports culture and I used to love going to the ballpark.  The smell of the fresh cut grass, the cloudless days, hearing the sounds of the bat hitting the ball and seeing multiple games going on in the different fields energized me to be a part of this community.

During December holiday seasons, we usually would take a family trip to Ft. Lauderdale Florida to visit our grandparents or resorts in Mexico or the Dominican Republic.  My dad was a master at finding good deals for us to travel.

How did your upbringing shape the person you are today? 

When I look back now as a father of two, I realize that one unique aspect that shaped my childhood was experiences.  My parents worked hard to create family experiences and to provide both my sister, Carly, and I with different types of opportunities to be in the world.  

We had an NHL hockey player named Luke Richardson, live in our home (billeting in our basement) for his first year in the league. Naturally, we became the envy of the other kids in the neighborhood and at school.

In my family, meeting people of different backgrounds was always encouraged. Canada is multicultural and my mother was ‘Head of English’ as a second language, overseeing about thirty adult learning schools. Not surprisingly, we were exposed to different cultures and met many people from all over the world who travelled to Canada as a result.

It includes trying different types of art and learning to play a variety of sports. Even though at the time I might not have appreciated taking art classes or the challenges of being on a sports team, I realize now that it instilled in me a love of the arts.  It also ingrained in me resilience in overcoming rejection, discipline and led me to live an interesting life.

I’ve also reinvented myself professionally many times as an adult and I believe that this exposure and gentle push to experiment with different skill sets and experiences led me to the different creative streams that make up my days today.   

How would you sum up your childhood?

Fortunate. Supportive. Creative. Full of unique and memorable experiences and moments.

JOURNEY 

Why did you choose to become a leadership development and resilience expert? 

The career advice I give myself as well as others is to find out what you’re good at, what you’re passionate about and what’s relevant to others to learn.  In my case, I was good at creating curriculum and teaching, I had a passion for learning about how to develop my own leadership and resilience attributes and researched that there was a growing niche to provide practical training that combined the two areas.   

I tested this hypothesis out in 2014, where I gave a TEDx Talk: ‘How to Spot a Leader in Their Handwriting’.  It was an unconventional way to look at leadership, but it’s garnered over 2 million views though probably 2.1 million of those views were by my mom 

The point is that if you are looking to reinvent your career, or develop a new professional path, you might want to start with those three questions, as I have done and have continued to do: 

1. What are my strengths?
2. What are my passions?
3. What is relevant to a specific audience who has problems in this area that I can help solve?

Then look for a topic or a combination of topics that answer all three of those questions.

Along the way, what were some hard decisions you faced and challenges you had to overcome?

I had to ask myself – what areas should I focus my attention on in developing my career?

There are hundreds of different paths or approaches a speaker or trainer can take in developing a talk or a training session.  At some point, I looked within more than I looked outward. I fully trusted my own cumulative decision-making processes and professional taste to boldly create what I thought was the best I could offer specific audiences in the corporate world.

It was also a challenge to start an uncertain, financially up-and-down career path with no contacts in a field that was much more abstract. Totally different from my prio career I had been in for 12 years – as a teacher. Being a teacher is relatively stable financially.

When you start a new path, with a young family at home, it’s a real challenge to not put too much pressure on yourself to succeed right away. I had to build self-imposed limits and boundaries as to how much I worked, because it started to feel like I was experiencing burn-out.

There was a constant push-pull between wanting to give my wife, Karen and our two kids, Koby and Maya my best energy versus the tension of moving from where I was starting out to where I wanted to get to.

Share with us some experiences/memories/stories that you think are significant to your journey so far. 

1998 – 2000: Working for Saturday Night Live Founder, Lorne Michaels, and the show in New York.

After cold calling Executive Producer, Lorne Michaels, twenty-five times over three months while living in my parents’ basement after graduating university, I got a call back from his assistant. I talked my way into an interview with Lorne several months later.

After meeting the late legendary comedian, Chris Farley, in the writer’s room while nervously waiting for my interview, he calmed me down by kindly asking me questions about my story. We shared a mutual contact – my former baseball coach – who was in a movie with him.  I then walked into my interview with Lorne Michaels feeling calm and self-assured and was offered an entry level job.   

The journey was the destination because my time in New York was brief but the experience of living and working in New York in one of the most renowned entertainment companies in the world was amazing. It planted the seeds that are coming to fruition now in my speaking career and in developing my own reality TV series for a Canadian network.

2008: Traveling to Siem Reap, Cambodia: I won a Canadian Ambassador of the Arts Grant from the Canadian Government to premiere my short film, ‘The Barber of Kigali’, based on a true story of a survivor in the Rwandan genocide, who was living in Canada at that time.  

It reinforced in my mind that the journey is the destination. I realized that I didn’t travel from Canada to Cambodia to show a short film. Rather it was to connect with people from a different culture, to contribute to a local school and to expand my view of the world.  

2014: On a professional level, my TEDx talk in Luxembourg was a pivotal moment where I knew that being on a global stage and moving people emotionally, adding value to their lives, was what I wanted to pursue.  

I didn’t know how but this was a powerful boost of inner confidence that I could rise to the challenge and strive to become one of the best in the world in this type of speaking and training.  

2018: Being on the same stage as a speaker with my childhood idol, Nando Parrado, was memorable.  After both our talks, he asked me if I wanted to have lunch with him.To sit down with him for a meal and hear him share his story of how he survived one of the most extraordinary plane crashes in history, made me feel grateful for being able to have such amazing encounters while I am still living.

2021: Giving a live virtual training to physicians in 21 countries made me realize how grateful I was to serve, to teach, to connect with professionals all over the world. It also made me pause to appreciate how far my speaking journey has taken me over the past four years. 

ACHIEVEMENTS 

Which achievements are you most proud of and why?

2020/2021 Speaker of the Year Nomination (Meeting Planners International NY)

Starting from scratch and building a thriving keynote speaking and training career, working with leading clients like Sun Life Financial, Assante, Novo Nordisk, Canadian Public Relations Society, Broadway Video Entertainment, The Terry Fox Foundation, TEDx, Baker Tilly, and top speaking agencies around the world. 

TEDx Talk: How to Spot a Leader in Their Handwriting = over 2 million views

My goal was to give a TEDx talk to spread my message about the limitless possibilities that exist within us if only we take a moment to look in our handwriting and in ourselves.  It took two years of planning, visualizing and goal setting. This includes creating a vision board dedicated to bringing this goal to fruition.  

After winning a TED Education Award, I connected with an organizer for a TEDx event in Luxembourg. The talk was set in a castle, which gave me the confidence to pursue a speaking career.  

TED-Huffington Post International Educators Award

I applied for this award but totally forgot about it later on.  A few months later, I got an email, which I thought was a potential scam, saying that I was the only Canadian educator to win the award. I happened to be at a conference with a friend, a professor and former police detective focused on fraud!

He checked out the e-mail and concluded that it was real.  We called the TED offices in New York, and they verified that I did indeed win and was invited for an all-expenses paid trip to New Orleans to be honored for my work in creating innovative learning environments.

Wrote #1 Amazon best-selling book: LIVE FROM YOUR CLASS: Everything I Learned About Teaching, I Learned from Working at SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

I wrote this book by getting up at 4:30 am every day for over a year before teaching and before my two kids (babies at the time) were up.  The book is about more than teaching, it’s about how to create learning environments in school and work that truly engage and inspire students and employees.  I’m very proud of this book as it is a culmination of my work as a teacher for 12 years and incorporates stories and experiences I had up to that point in the world of media and film. 

Dale Carnegie Public Speaking Award Winner

Winning this award while still in university at the Western, University in London, Ontario, Canada, made me believe that one day I would pursue a path that involved adding values to people’s lives through speaking professionally.

Granted Ambassador of the Arts Grant by the Canadian Government

I won a grant and acknowledgment by the Canadian government for a short film that I directed about an incident in the life of a survivor of the Rwandan genocide who immigrated to Canada. The grant was for me to represent Canada as a filmmaker in Cambodia for the Cambodian International Film Festival and to teach Cambodian children film-making skills 

Best Film Director, London, England based Film Festival for The Barber of Kigali

My short film about a Rwandan genocide survivor who meets his father’s murderer in Canada and must decide whether to kill him or walk away was inspired by true events. The film was accepted in 9 film festivals around the world from California to Cambodia to Boston to London England and gave me the chance to travel to several of them.

Cambodia was particularly memorable because I not only showed my film on the anniversary of The Killing Fields, but got to work with local children and teach them film-making skills. 

Website ranked #26th best leadership speaker & coach website by wpblogs.com

I’ve been working on my website for years so when a reputable website that reviews websites reviewed and ranked my website as one of the best on the internet in my speaking and group coaching niche, I was honoured. 

What do you think are the key ingredients to your success?

If you’re not invited to the party, throw your own party so that the right people will want to attend. 

In other words, be a magnet for opportunity by showing your value to others, working on your skillset and being so good at what you do that eventually the people who you want to connect with will show up in your life in unexpected ways. Instead of forcing your way through the front door where everyone is trying to get into, look for the side and back doors that others have overlooked.

Turning crisis into opportunity. 

For example, when Covid-19 hit, I looked for ways to serve pre-existing clients and created a new media project to help small-to-midsize businesses that wouldn’t have been possible in pre-covid.  

Working smart and working hard. 

I wrote working hard first because focusing on outputs instead of outcomes can make us feel like we’re working hard yet progressive can feel elusive. Focusing on what the outcomes I wanted and then reverse engineering what steps I need to take was helpful in making small yet substantial progress in achieving my goals.  

Showing up daily by working hard and being disciplined and consistent in focusing on the 1% that makes the biggest difference and then iterating along the way has been essential for my success. 

Surrounding myself with one close speaking buddy who I could learn from, and he could learn from me has been a revelation. 

The commonly repeated expression is that you are a reflection of, or your income is based on the five people who you surround yourself with.  I’ve come to the realization that 1 – 2 people is what you should be aiming for. 

I define and refine what it means to be successful.  

Success means different things to every person you know. My success starts with asking myself what my values are. Some of my core values are: long-term orientation (professional) and family first (personal).  I want to make sure that my daily decisions in service of my highest vision for my life are rooted in my values.  Then I know that the success I achieve is in alignment with who and what I value most.

Resilience.

I have continued to bounce back from rejection and continually put myself out there. This trait is key for anyone trying to become successful in their field. It is never about how you fall, how you get turned down, ignored or rejected – rather it’s about getting back up with confidence and taking one more step forward instead of giving up.

Throughout countless rejections and failures, I push through my sensitivity, my ego, my sadness and simply ask: what’s the best next step? And then I take that step, and continually adjust until I get closer to my goals.

It’s not always about setting goals.  

Some experts believe setting goals can be harmful to the spirit because when you reach a goal, it never seems enough.  I set goals but I also focus on the process, on positive habits like working at the same time each day, even if I don’t feel like doing the work, on constantly researching new concepts and ideas and taking action even when I don’t have all the answers.  

Share some successful case studies with us – people who have been successfully transformed under your guidance. 

 A med-tech entrepreneur in Canada was awarded first-round financing for his company, EasyLabs in an Amsterdam-based worldwide tech.start-up contest, with my help in creating a pitch for his product.   

One business owner took my advice on creating a plan to tell his company’s story through a purpose-based video, which has reinvigorated the organization and its direction. 

Based on my coaching suggestions on how to make his excellent talk even better for his audience, one of the top business speakers in Canada has credited my feedback with growing his business.  

`Dozens of people have reached out to thank me to say that my coaching, which includes a speed handwriting analysis session, has given them the courage to mend broken relationships, follow their goals, pursue previously out-of-reach dreams and to discover their strengths. 

One of Canada’s top parenting experts, Alyson Schafer said that three minutes with Jamie’s unique graphotherapy coaching process is better than 3 therapy sessions. 

What lies ahead in terms of your goals and ambitions? 

I’m a believer in not sharing your goals or ambitions publicly.  I believe that you should write down your goals and ambitions on paper regularly.  Then review those written goals daily.  Then take one small step each day towards that goal.  

My process on this point is supported by verified studies that show that when people put their energy into revealing their goals and ambitions before first putting their energy into putting them in motion, they can easily be derailed or discouraged from strangers, friends and even family.

I’m happy to share my goals and ambitions once they are about to be completed or launched to the world.  But until then, I’ll be busy working on them, not discussing them.  

A quote I love that further amplifies how I feel about the importance of writing down, visualizing, and taking action but not talking about your goals, here’s an excerpt from a famous American singer-songwriter, author and visual artist, Bob Dylan:

“DESTINY is a feeling you have that you know something about yourself nobody else does. The picture you have in your own mind of what you’re about WILL COME TRUE. It’s a kind of a thing you kind of have to keep to your own self, because it’s a fragile feeling, and you put it out there, then someone will kill it. It’s best to keep that all inside.”
― Bob Dylan, The Bob Dylan Scrapbook: 1956-1966

PERSONAL (LIFE) 

How does a typical day look like to you now? 

Wake-up: 5:30 am

530am – 8:00 am:  Drink lemon water. Walk 3 km. Meditate on my front porch. Coffee. Write down my goals, top 3 areas I will focus on that day and write down a daily gratitude practice.  I then help get my two kids, Koby, 9 and Maya, 8, ready for school or camp, with my wife, Karen. 

9:00 am – 1:00 pm: Do creative work on speeches or media projects 

1:00 pm – Workout (yoga stretches, weights, trampoline in the backyard, lunch

2:00 pm – 4:00 pm – Business tasks related to speaking, scheduled meetings

After 4:00 pm is more flexible with family time, hobbies like abstract painting, reading and watching Netflix! 

To you, what are the most important things in life?

My wife and kids are the most important thing in my life.  It’s most important to me to live a life that balances the priorities of health, happiness of my family with my greater purpose of positively impacting lives around the world. 

For my children and my wife, I want to live as long as possible in order to ensure that I provide them (in partnership with my wife, Karen) a healthy + loving home.

What’s worth mentioning on your life’s bucket list that you have not done? 

• There are many countries I want to travel to with my family including Rwanda, much of Europe, and South-east Asia. I lived for 8 months in Malaysia teaching at a university but I worked so much that I didn’t have a chance to visit surrounding countries. 
• Singapore is a country on my bucket list! I’ve heard it’s a flawless country in many ways – the city design, the people, the food and the sights.
• Professionally, I have a major bucket list media project in development. When it’s ready to launch to the world, I’ll let you know.
• I’d like to also do a world speaking tour in south-east Asia and Asia.
• Learn a martial art.
• Attend a meditation retreat (there are several on my list)
• Attend a World Cup game and F1 race in-person.
• Have my abstract art accepted and shown in an international gallery.
• Live in another country with my wife and two children for a period between 2 months and 1 year before they are 18 years old.
• Learn to speak another language.

Why do you do what you do? (What drives you everyday)

~ To progress by being a little better than I was yesterday

~ To be a ‘learn-it-all’ not a ‘know-it-all’

~ To be a role model for my kids and give them an example of a father who goes after his goals with intention and deliberate focus yet is always there and present for them.

~ Ultimately, I want to help and serve other people by helping them reach their professional and personal goals.

What are some things that many people don’t know about you? 

~ I stuttered as a child.

~ My mother, who did handwriting analysis as a hobby, saw traits in my handwriting that revealed the potential for me to become a writer and a speaker.  

~ I was skeptical but eventually it came true. I became a speaker and wrote a #1 Amazon best-selling book. 

What kind of legacy do you hope to leave behind? 

~ I want to be the best, most present and engaged father I can be to my children. So that they are equipped with life lessons and the belief in themselves, which I taught them with regards to being able to accomplish anything and overcome any adversity when they set their minds to it.

~ To become the best husband and partner I can be to my wife and help her achieve all of her dreams, both in our family and her own life goals

~ To be the friend to my friends that they could always count on, be vulnerable with and know that I always had their backs and believed in them.

~ To have added transformational value to people’s lives in my professional roles as a teacher, speaker, trainer, coach and media producer.

VIEWPOINTS 

In your opinion, what steps can individuals take to discover and fully realise their full potential and develop their talents?

1. Find out your strengths — what you’re naturally good at. This might be a subject in school that came easy to you or a skill that you were quick to pick up.

2. Find out what you love to do. What makes your heartbeat fast with anticipation, joy and delight when you do it? What makes time fly by because you are so engaged?

3. Research on accomplished individuals who have combined these two areas in a profession.

4. Take an online course (Coursera, for example) to see if you feel a spark inside during learning, even if it’s hard work and prove to be a steep learning curve.

5. If you do like it after doing some additional research, see if there is a market for this service or talent, then invest more time, schooling and coaching into taking steps in this direction.

6. Get a coach to help you eliminate unnecessary mistakes in pursuit of your goal.  The key here is the coach should have been successful in this career recently, if not still doing it. Such a coach will also have valuable contacts that could potentially help you if they see that you’ve made progress and have the potential to excel.

7. Find an online or in-person peer group of other people who share the same interests in this field. You only need to find one other peer, with whom you can encourage each other and help each other along the way. 

What makes a good leader and how can one lead effectively? 

What makes a good leader is someone who creates a safe space for their team so that each team member feels heard, acknowledged, and understood. A good leader creates a space where their team feels that they have permission to make mistakes in order to grow.  A good leader ultimately has the goal, either expressed directly or in their actions, of making others better.  

A person can lead effectively by being a learn-it-all, not a know-it-all. I think the Head of Microsoft said something to that effect once.  Be accessible, show-up so that your team sees you on the front lines with them and not hiding in an office somewhere out of sight.  Be humble and open to new ideas from any member of your team.  

Focus on defining and bringing a purpose-led, value-driven vision into your leadership every single day.  Be the change that you want to see in your team.  Culture starts at the top, which means that everything that you do, say, and don’t do or don’t say, will be seen and interpreted by your team.  

When you have integrity – in which your actions match your words, you will build an unspoken trust and bond with your team that will not just make for a better work environment but a better world. 

To you, what does it mean to be resilient in the face of adversity? And how can people build up this quality in themselves? 

Being resilient in the face of adversity means to find strength in difficult moments or situations. It’s about how fast you bounce back from a temporary setback. You can build up this quality in yourself to truly grasp that in any situation, the one thing in your control is your attitude. 

I learned this from Victor Frankl, who wrote the book that influenced me most in my life called: ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’. Frankl overcame the most difficult imaginable situation, being in a Nazi concentration camp during World War Two. He reflected on what survivors had in common, based on his position as a leading psychiatrist .

Even though it was often luck that separated those who lived and those who were killed, the ones who lived (1 out of 28 to be exact), had an attitude that they wanted desperately to survive for another person, for a higher purpose – such as to finish their life’s work or to find purpose in their suffering.  

Each of these perspectives or attitudes to their predicaments gave them strength in the most extreme hardships.  As you go through your most challenging obstacles, you can ask yourself questions like:

• Who am I doing this for?
• What is a higher purpose that is essential that I carry on in pursuit of this goal?
• What meaning can I find in this challenge or setback that can make me even better?  

You can build up resilience by taking care of both your mind and body.  Some examples include: going on daily walks, doing yoga or practicing mindful meditation for just ten minutes a day. Those activities have been shown in a validated thirty-year study to build resilience in people who experienced trauma in their lives.

Open yourself up to the support of a friend.  A good friend who encourages you, who pulls you up from a failure, who believes in you even when you don’t believe in yourself can help you to see your worth in vulnerable moments.  

Cultivate a hobby that you do just for you. Make date days with yourself to allow yourself to get lost in an activity that challenges you and that makes you feel joy.  Hobbies have been shown to calm the mind, put you in a positive and creative state and help create balance between our professional and personal lives.

Take nothing personally. Be independent of the good or bad opinion of others – said Wayne Dyer.  Sometimes negative feedback or indifference relating to our plans by people we want approval from can derail our enthusiasm and focus on our goals. 

Remember that every successful person you’ve heard about, read about, or know has been told that they are not good enough or their work is subpar in some way. Don’t be defined by another person’s careless comments that reflect where they are and what their opinions are, not who you are and what you are capable of. I suggest listening to a podcast called, “We Regret to Inform You”. Each episode tells a story of a well-known personality who persevered through years of rejection and failure to become international successes.  

Finally, ask: What’s in my control and what’s not moving forward? Whatever happened in the past, is in the past. What you have control over is the present. What can you do right now to take a step forward towards your goal? The Serenity Prayer reads: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” 

If you internalise this quote and focus only on what is in your control to turn a moment of crisis into an opportunity to grow, you’ll be on your way to building resilience in your journey through life!

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